The choices we make in life have a funny way of presenting themselves as road blocks down the line. Still, to no avail, we forewarn those around us to this misfortune. Now, what you do next is what makes you or breaks you.
I have always been one to never regret my past, the decisions I've made and the behaviors I engaged in. This past week I found my niche. After five and a half months of trying and searching, I was interviewed for a position as a Mental Health Counselor at a school. Midway into the interview, I knew I had landed the job. This was only to be confirmed by the eager manner in which I was scheduled for a second interview the very next day. Within days I was offered the position. Now here comes the the part that was almost heartbreaking to me.
All my life I was waiting on someone to give me a chance, to bet on me, so that I may be able to blow them away with my intelligence, my strengths, my weaknesses, my abilities, my passion and my determination...that day had finally arrived and I was to be responsible for the future of our youth. I was to provide intervention to adolescents; what could be better?
Rewinding into the past: selflessly, I took one for the team.
Fast Forward into the future: remember that hit I took? It was now standing right in the middle of me and my job. Yes, MY job; there wasn't a person, soul, or energy able to tell me that it wasn't for me. Now, what did I do? That's a really good question. After I felt my heart drying from the outside in and almost crumble, after my mind went blank as my brain shut off, I thought my blood began to boil as I felt that I'd been robbed, stripped from what was rightfully mine. The assailant? ME...
When I realized that I had placed myself in this predicament, regardless of the circumstances, it was a bit difficult to snap out of that haze and declare war, in sense, with myself; with an older version of myself, one not as strong as the version that exists today. I snapped back into the here and now, confirmed to myself that from an existentialist perspective this was my purpose and so I sought after it. The rest is truly irrelevant.
The moral: You are your own inhibitor.
When things seem to be falling apart, almost like a mirage, too good to be true, you have to question whether or not you WANT it to be and then you make it happen. Do not let your past dictate your present, your future...YOU. Take it all with you and transform it into the energy that you will need for the climb. Never believe that "they" or "it" is stronger, whatever that "they" or "it" may be. Show up with your gear, tuck your chin in and CHARGE. Even when you think there's no more fight left in you, you'll realize that you've not even dipped into your reserve.
0 comments: